If Only
by Unique Art
Summary: I clenched my fist tightly, my nails digging into my palm. "Is that what you wanted? Did you want me to crumble into depression? To give in?" - Ryou says what he thinks of Bakura. One-shot.


This is a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone...so I wrote it! It's in Ryou's POV. I hope he doesn't seem OOC...Tell me how I did with that! And I hope the end isn't confusing...It was the only part I thought about before writing this. The rest I just made up as I went along. Hope you can't tell that too much. Well, hope you enjoy it!

**DISCLAIMER:**I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Ryou or Bakura, though I'm working on it...wish me luck!

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"Why, Bakura?" I spat.

Silence.

"I have some questions now. I don't expect an answer, but you need to listen for once! Alright?"

I was greeted with silence again.

"Why must you keep doing that? Keep calling me _weak_? Keep calling me a..._child_? Why must you taunt me with my most inner fears? Mock me?" I stopped before my voice cracked.

My darkness didn't reply.

"You called me a coward. Called me worthless! And did you ever once think it might hurt? _Hurt, _Bakura. It hurt." I paused for a moment. I took a deep breath before I started again. "And why? Maybe...maybe because I thought you were right. I thought that was all I was. Thought that I was a weak person! Just because you said so. Because of _you._

"I started to hate myself, Bakura. Started to think I'd never be anything! Because of the simple taunts you thought nothing of." I took a shaky breath, and closed my eyes. "Why?" I opened my chocolate orbs, and asked loudly, "Why?!"

I got no reply.

"But then...things changed. You started to be nicer! Started to...be kind. Never taunted me, or hurt me. I thought you actually_...cared_." I then laughed bitterly at the irony.

"I was so stupid! I actually thought you were changing. But no! Then you go and start hurting people again! Take over my body and use me like a puppet. Leave me in the soul room for _days! _Bakura, that was a long time."

My yami never even made a sound.

"I again listened to taunts and jabs. I fell asleep crying every night! All because of _you. _And then..." I laughed softly. "And then you mocked me about that! I thought it couldn't get any worse. But yes, Bakura! It did."

I had so many emotions rushing through my mind, so many words filling my head. And Bakura stayed slient through it all.

"You started to mock me about my sister and mum. You laughed at my letters! My one thing that kept my sanity intact. You laughed at it!" I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"You were so...ruthless. You never stopped! Just kept throwing me insults and harsh words. And I took it!" My eyes narrowed venomously.

Bakura remained silent.

"I thought I truly was weak. I thought I truly deserved every word you spat at me! I thought I was nothing." I clenched my fist tightly, my nails digging into my palm. "Is that what you wanted? Did you want me to crumble into depression? To give in?" I was screaming bitterly now. My voice was louder than I ever raised it.

"We went on for months like this. In school, I was the quiet, always smiling Ryou. Yugi and his friends thought nothing of it any longer. They thought I was free!" I laughed again, this time softer.

"Oh, but I wasn't. Was I, Bakura?"

I didn't hear his answer.

"At home, you verbally abused me. My mask was useless against you! Since you knew my every thought, you could say anything to make me crack. And boy, did you make me crack!" My voice was echoing throughout the room. "But I'm not done yet."

I pushed a lock of snowy white hair from my eyes. Oh, how I hated my hair! I hated my eyes, my skin, my reflection. It all reminded me of him! It was like I couldn't escape.

"Do you still think me weak? Think of me a coward? I don't! No, not any longer. I realized now it was_ you _who is the coward. You're the one who had to break me down to make yourself feel powerful! You had to make me fall before you could rise. You hide behind a mask. A mask of cruelty, hatred, and harsh words."

I didn't expect a reply this time.

"I see through your mask," I whispered softly. "I see right through it! Inside, I see a scared little boy. I see a person with many fears they run from! I see hurt. I see pain; loss; I see it_ all_!"

I sighed softly. "In that way, we aren't so different. Aren't as different as you say. We both see ourselves in the worst way, and hide behind a mask. Though the masks are different, they share the same purpose. To hide our feelings from the world!" I shook my head. "You see yourself in me, just as I do in you. I see my evil side. My inner thoughts; my anger! I see it all when I look at you.

"When you look at me, you see your old innocence. You see your old fears and faults. You see all the mistakes of your past through my eyes!"

He didn't respond to my sudden rage-filled outburst.

"We aren't that different, Bakura. Not at all!"

I was finished. I said what I had to; I said all I could. I turned slowly to see his expression. I wanted to see a look of shock. See a look of wonder as he stared at me.

But no. I saw nothing.

I slowly broke down, and let tears form in my eyes. I let salty crystals cover my vision, sending my world into a blurry mess of colors and fuzzy shapes. I sunk to the floor slowly, my eyes shut tightly. I curled up my head into my lap, and sobbed. I let all of my anger, confusion, and pain out.

After a few minutes, I looked up at the empty room before me. I felt more tears form in my eyes, but I refused to brush them away. I just let them flow down my crimson cheeks, and onto my already wet shirt. I brushed a strand of my white locks from my eyes, and tucked it behind my ear.

I whispered to the darkness bitterly, "If only I could say it to his face."

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Man, that was fun to write! Review, people!

Unique Art


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